


"And Sothis Said, Let There Be Phones"

by Lady Aconite (LadyAconiteWolfe)



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon? what Canon, Discord Au, Everything is happy, Extremely Canon Divergence, Multi, Oops accidentally added a plot, Plot? Maybe Plot, Self-Indulgent, Semi-Modern Setting, Sothis the gremlin child, There Are No More Braincells Left, chatfic au, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-24 01:13:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20899202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAconiteWolfe/pseuds/Lady%20Aconite
Summary: Nemesis failed in his quest to kill the Goddess. The Nabateans were expecting him when he came for them, and while both sides suffered casualties, Nemesis and his Elites ran away broken with their tails between their legs. Those sons and daughters of the 10 Elites who decided to turn against them and aid the Goddess were given the power of the Crests, but told to use them wisely.Sothis woke up temporarily after the battle to offer her daughter council. She encouraged Seiros to be honest about history, but to also be careful, since history would just repeat when ignored. She also encouraged Seiros not to hide technology from those who didn't turn against the Nabateans in the first place, but to again be careful. Seiros hesitantly placed her trust in humanity since her mother still lived.1000 years later, Rhea is dealing with the repercussions of the students having phones while Byleth does the bidding of a bratty gremlin Goddess. Hilarity ensues.





	1. Garreg Mach Monastery's Discord Server

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you might have gathered, this story takes place in a future where Nemesis underestimated actual dragons and ended up losing. Crests still exist, but they're treated in a different light because how humanity got Crests. Those Who Slither are monitored carefully, so a lot of the Crest Experimentation got nipped in the bud years before it could happen. Oh yeah, and Sothis is alive. Any other important details should be revealed through the story proper as it progresses.
> 
> For those who've read/are reading my other story (Goin in Circles, Going Down), this story is something of a companion story to it. It uses the same lore and world building, taking place in a timeline where Sothis didn't die. However, you absolutely do not have to read one to read the other. These two stories are entirely stand alone. If you're reading both though, you might stumble across a spoiler or two when jumping between stories. 
> 
> With that said, this story will not be updating often since it's mostly something I'm doing for my own entertainment as a meme when I can't focus or have writers block. For those already worrying, it will not be interfering with updates for Circles or Fate those are still my main focuses. This story is entirely for my own entertainment.

  
#the-golden-memes  
  


Schemes? >:3  
this year is going to be absolutely lit!  
i can't believe the professor actually set up a discord  
Golden Meme Dream Team Assemble!!!  


* * *

Magical Human Nuke  
Claude, I swear to the Goddess if you don't learn proper capitalization I'm going to kill oyu before this year ends.  


* * *

Schemes? >:3  
*you  


* * *

Magical Human Nuke  
Meet me outside.  


* * *

Tea, Ladies?  
Please, can the two of you try to be sensible?  
This is highly unnoblelike  


* * *

Schemes! >:3  
no one asked for your opinion lorenz  


* * *

Magical Human Nuke  
I'm not sure if I should be upset with your capitalization or agree with your treatment of Lorzen...  


* * *

Schemes! >:3  
claude is my sacred partner in crime, my sibling with no blood, the best friend i always asked for and finally have. we have to match. even our typing styles.

* * *

Super Meatboy  
Guys,  
professor says if you can't get along she's deactivating the server. Or at least Deer Chat.  


* * *

Schemes! >:3  
are you with her?  


* * *

I Did It For The ART  
Raphael and I both are.  
They're possing for a new painting I'm doing based on Duscur's gods. I'm going to give it to Dedue as a present for his birthday. I know it's super early, but this is probably going to take a while.  
No one tell him!  


* * *

Ultra Pure  
...pure  


* * *

Jeraltfan69  
Whelp. Mari has spoken. Now we're legally bound to silence  
...  
Hey Claude, what the fuck?  
What did you do to my nickname!?  


* * *

Schemes? >:3  
why are you blaming me?  
this is prejudice! racism!  


* * *

Jeraltfan69  
I know the professor _gave **you**_ admin rights!  


* * *

Schemes? >:3  
you got me detective, i do have limited admin rights  
key word being limited. realy wasn't me chief.  


* * *

Schemes! >:3  
what idiot gives claude admin? limited or not  


* * *

Schemes? >:3  
dunno  
funny thing is, i don't think it was teach  


* * *

Smol Magic Gremlin  
tehe  


* * *

Schemes? >:3  
AH, what the fuck!?  


* * *

Schemes! >:3  
!!!!!  


* * *

Magical Human Nuke  
Ghost!?  
Can ghosts use discord???  


* * *

Tea, Ladies?  
Was that a hacker?  
Should be contact the professor?  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
Everyone, please. Calm down.  
That was neither hacker nor ghost.  
That was a member of staff. She does a lot of behind the scenes work.  
You don't need to worry about her, nor should you bother her since she _won't be bothering you._  
If you do need something and I'm not available, though, she is the other Discord admin for the school.  


* * *

Smol Magic Gremlin  
Caught so quickly... goodbye little sheep! For now.  


* * *

Schemes! >:3  
i feel like i'm in danger...  


* * *

Schemes? >:3  
strange  
funny, so do i...  


* * *

  
  
  


  
#knights-of-the-round-cheese  
  


Hansom Cheese Goblin  
Hello everyone! Is everything working properly?  
I am very excited for this chat as well as the new year!  
Sylvain, how do I change my nickname?  


* * *

Tweedle Twunk  
Why are you asking me?  


* * *

Hansom Cheese Goblin  
The Professor has informed me she's made you the 'chanel admin' due to my technological...  
Inabilities  


* * *

Tweedle Twink  
why the fuck do you sound like a boomer  


* * *

Tweedle Twunk  
Why does your profile picture make look like you're about to cave a man's skull in?  
Back to Dimitri's question, dunno really.  
I only have chanel admin privs, really low level stuff.  
I think only one of the two admins can change nicknames, one being the Professor.  
Dunno much about the other admin, but apparently they gave the deer quite a fright.  
They're something of a school mystery right now.  


* * *

The Goddess’ Favorite Angel  
Oh dear!  
I hope she didn't startle poor Lysithea too badly.  
She gets frightened so easily. Maybe I should check on her?  


* * *

Tweedle Twunk  
Hey Mercie, can I ask about your profile picture?  


* * *

The Goddess’ Favorite Angel  
No you may not :)  


* * *

Tweedle Twunk  
Duly noted and moving on!  
Felix! Look! We match.  


* * *

Tweedle Twink  
oh goddess no  
whoever you are mystery admin please change my name  


* * *

Please Do Not Eat The Weeds  
...  
I would also like to request a change of name.  


* * *

Everyone’s Last Brain Cell  
I'm sorry but  
What exactly is the story behind whatever the hell that nickname is???  


* * *

Precious Cinnamon Knight  
Oh, Dedue!  
You're using the picture we took as your profile picture.  


* * *

Please Do Not Eat The Weeds  
It was the only decent picture I have of myself and the professor told us to use our own pictures for the time being. Aside from that, I'm also rather fond of it.  


* * *

Study Baby  
Awwww!  
Dedue, that's adorable.  


* * *

Everyone’s Last Brain Cell  
Wait, guys, I still don't get it. Why weeds??? Why cheese??????  


* * *

Smol Magic Gremlin  
Oddly fitting that the last brain cell among all of you is confused by such names.  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
Please don't terrorize students...  


* * *

  
  
  


  
#land-of-the-gays  
  


Emperor of Lesbians  
I would very much like to inquire as to who picked the chanel nickname.  


* * *

I AM FERDINAND VON AEGIR  
Are You Angry?  
It Wasn't Me, I'm Just Curious.  


* * *

Emperor of Lesbians  
No :)  


* * *

Doom and Gloom  
I believe she's sharpening her axe...  


* * *

Disaster Bi  
I did :)  


* * *

Emperor of Lesbians  
Might I asked why :)  


* * *

Disaster Bi  
Because it's accurate :)  


* * *

Fierce Huntress, Rawr  
Why is Edelgard seeming to be the angry?  
Dorothea is not wrong?  


* * *

Leader Of The Short Peoples Rebellion  
No, she's no, there isn't a straight person in chat. But just try to ignore it Petra  
They'll both give up eventually  
Till then, it's a bit like watching a pair of equally powerful gods go at it  


* * *

Narcolepsy  
i swer to the fukin goddess plz just shut up  
im trying to nap and your bickering is making my pillow squirm  


* * *

Leader Of The Short Peoples Rebellion  
Sorry Lin...  


* * *

Don’t Mess With Me, I Will Cry  
Pleas uh, pretty pleas don't fight you two!  


* * *

Leader Of The Short Peoples Rebellion  
If Bernadetta cries, Edelgard is banned from the Short Peoples Alliance and I'm declaring war on all of your kneecaps.

* * *

Emperor of Lesbians  
We'll continue this later, Dorothea :)  


* * *

Disaster Bi  
Of course, Edie :)  


* * *

Fierce Huntress, Rawr  
So I am the guessing that Dorothea is 'chat admin'?  


* * *

Smol Magic Gremlin  
Chanel admin, actually. She and Edelgard both are.  


* * *

Doom and Gloom  
So you are the strange unknown admin the Deer have been speaking of.  
Interesting...  
I wonder who you really are.  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
Please ignore her.  
I promise she isn't anyone important.  


* * *

  
  
  


  
#chosen-staff-of-the-goddess  
  


The Blade Breaker  
Kiddo, you know you have my complete trust. But are you sure this discord is a good idea?  


* * *

Holy Follower of The Goddess  
I think it's a wonderful idea!  
It's good for house bonding and morale. Not to mention cross house bonding.  


* * *

The Blade Breaker  
Are you sure?  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
For the safety, comfort, and privacy of the students, the majority of staff are limited in what chats they can view. They can't see the personal chats for each house, nor are they able to see the combined chat for all three houses. Only the staff chat and main chat which has all three houses and staff in it. The only ones able to see it are you, me, and you-know-who, for the sake of being able to monitor the students and settle disputes.

* * *

The Blade Breaker  
Why would you levy this curse upon me? Your own father?  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
Because I could.  


* * *

The Blade Breaker  
Every day she goes a little more mad with power...  


* * *

Holy Follower of The Goddess  
She takes after her mama :)  


* * *

The Blade Breaker  
I can't even say that you're wrong.  


* * *

Rhea, Why Do You Never Consult Me?  
While I am a bit hesitant of this chat... thing, I trust Rhea's judgement.  


* * *

The Blade Breaker  
You really shouldn't.  


* * *

Feesh  
Oh! Might I join the chat with the students so I can get to know them better, brother?  


* * *

The Blade Breaker  
You really shouldn't.  


* * *

Rhea, Why Do You Never Consult Me?  
I don't see why not.  


* * *

The Blade Breaker  
I thought you two were smarter than this?  


* * *

Smol Magic Gremlin  
They really aren't though.  
Save yourself the pain and give up.  


* * *

Two Shots Of Vodka  
Jeralt dear, I think you might be overreacting a little.  


* * *

Local Crest Enthusiast  
I don't think you're qualified to comment with a nickname like that.  


* * *

Two Shots Of Vodka  
Why you!  


* * *

The Punderful Alois  
Catherine, Shamir, your patrols start in the next hour.  


* * *

Sword Lesbian Vodka Aunt  
Goody...  


* * *

Bow Lesbian Responsible Aunt  
I'll make sure she's actually there on time today.  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
See, dad? Look, the chat's being useful.  


* * *

The Blade Breaker  
I just want you to know that when everything's said and done, you'll regret it more than I will.  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
Yeah. I know.  


* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The discord skin I'm using was created by Heterochromia_Mars, you can find the code at https://archiveofourown.org/works/12142470.
> 
> Nicknames for characters as well as profile pictures are subject to change. Recommendations are welcome!


	2. Identity

  
#black-eagle-pride  
  


Emperor of Lesbians  
@MercenaryOfEisner  
Would you please expand the permissions so that we can nickname ourselves?  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
Of course, Edelgard.  
I apologize for the actions of my fellow administrator.  


* * *

Emperor of Lesbians  
Please worry not my teacher, I know it isn't your fault.  


* * *

Emperor of Eagles  
Much better.  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
I see you also to convince Dorothea to change the chat title. How did you manage it?  


* * *

Emperor of Eagles  
That's not important my teacher! We just had a civil conversation and came to an agreement of sorts  


* * *

Disaster Bi  
We made a deal that Edie should hopefully be acting on soon enough  
Right Edie?  


* * *

Emperor of Eagles  
Yes, of course. A deal is a deal.  


* * *

Disaster Bi  
Yay!  
Moving on, I quite like my nickname, so I'll be keeping it ;)  


* * *

Fierce Huntress, Rawr  
I am of the confusion as to why Edelgard was so distressed by her name?  
But very well, I will be changing of mine as well.  


* * *

Petra Órfhlaith  
A fruit of any other scent is just as sweet.  
I was undetermined as to what name I should be taking, I hope it is acceptable.  


* * *

Disaster Bi  
You're doing great sweetie!  


* * *

Smol Magic Gremlin  
Seriously?  
Isn't that literally just your title? That's so boring.  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
Listen you mint flavored gremlin :)  


* * *

Smol Magic Gremlin  
And I'm leaving.  


* * *

Emperor of Eagles  
Anyway... again, thank you my teacher for letting us pick nicknames.  
I felt exceptionally... uncomfortable with that last nickname...  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
Of course. A certain someone shouldn't have been assuming things.  
I'm sorry if she was wrong and was broadcasting the wrong message.  


* * *

Emperor of Eagles  
It's not that! She wasn't wrong.  
I'm just not comfortable... broadcasting such a thing. Least of all in a chat with more people than just the Black Eagles. While I know I'm safe in this channel, I'm not necessarily certain about all the other channels.

* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
Of course.  
This chat is supposed to be a safe space. Please speak up if you ever feel uncomfortable.  


* * *

Disaster Bi  
Edie...  
Well, great. Now I feel like shit for teasing you  
Sorry about that  


* * *

Emperor of Eagles  
It's fine, Dorothea.  
You didn't know. I'm just not comfortable with being out to anyone outside of this chat. Least of all my family. All of my siblings are very much straight, and it's customary for members of the Hresvelg family to have lots of children in order to perpetuate the family name as prestige, regardless of Crest status. Being that I'm the only one of my siblings with a Crest, I'm just a little unsure of how they would react...

* * *

Leader Of The Short Peoples Rebellion  
You do know if anything happens, we'll be here to support you, right?  
I know at least Hubert and I would happily a deck a man for ya  


* * *

Doom and Gloom  
I am loath to agree with Caspar, but he is correct.  
Should anyone find your sexual orientation displeasing, they'll be immediately eliminated.  


* * *

Emperor of Eagles  
Thank you both.  
But please no murder...  


* * *

Leader Of The Short Peoples Rebellion  
Side note.  
Ain't it a bit rude of the other admin to be nicknaming people without permission?  
Specially stuff they might not be comfortable with?  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
She's old and a bit mischievous.  
I promise she means no harm, she's just bored and enjoys teasing children.  
She's probably sulking by now because she feels bad. I'll go check on her.  


* * *

Don’t Mess With Me, I Will Cry  
I... uuh, umm.  
Gget how Edelgard feels. With the whole family thing? My um dad... he's kind of... the same really.  
If I so much as implied being, you know, not straight? Well... you get the picture.  
Oh, and, can I change my nickname too?  


* * *

Leader Of The Short Peoples Rebellion  
Oh course Bernadetta! You go right ahead and change it  
Also, does you dad take visitors around this time of year? Specifically church related ones?  


* * *

Bernie Bear  
thank you. Oh! And uhm, no, not typically?  
Though if it was important and something church related he might?  


* * *

Leader Of The Short Peoples Rebellion  
Great!  
Professor, a word?/span>  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
Already on it. Hold tight for a moment.  
You'll get the invite soon.  


* * *

Bernie Bear  
Is, everything okay?  
I hope I haven't caused any problems...  


* * *

Narcolepsy  
you're fin ber. you want to come hav tea w/ me?  


* * *

Bernie Bear  
Oh, uhm, maybe? I guess?  
As long as we can have it in that one corner of the library again.  


* * *

Leader Of The Short Peoples Rebellion  
Thanks Lin  
You two have fun!  


* * *

  
  
  


  
Regarding Bernadetta  
  


Byleth Eisner  
Okay Caspar.  
I've added Rhea and Seteth to the chat group chat. This is private, so say whatever you feel needs said regarding Lord Varley. When this conversation is over everyone will be removed from the chat. Your name will be blurred, your picture blotted out, and it'll be printed out as solid proof. Do you agree to these terms?

* * *

Caspar  
Uhm, yeah. Sorry, I'm a bit nervous now.  


* * *

Archbishop Rhea  
Please do not be, my child.  
Your concern for your friend is admirable. Speak freely.  


* * *

Caspar  
Thanks. I mean, I'm just a little concerned. Bernadetta will some just mention things about her father that feel vaguely wrong. Like today. She kind of implied her father would beat her if she wasn't straight, at least that's vibe I was getting. Von Varley has always been a scary man who's made it very clear Bernadetta will marry rich. She's approached my grandpa as well as Ferdinand's dad with marriage proposals on multiple occasions. Both ended up saying no, but Von Varley's expression when my grandpa told him no that one time... it was honestly pretty scary. I'm worried about what he's done to Bernie. She's also said multiple times how her dad wanted her to be the 'perfect bride'. I don't really know much more. You'll probably have to talk to her.

* * *

Byleth Eisner  
Thank you Caspar. I'm going to remove you from the chat now.  
Okay. I've taken him out. What do you two think? Should we talk to Bernadetta or another Black Eagles? Maybe get in contact with Von Varley?

* * *

Archbishop Rhea  
I don't think any other students could give us much info.  
Bernadetta would just grow fearful if we tried to ask her, thinking herself to be in trouble.  


* * *

Cardinal Seteth  
I believe we should contact Von Varley's wife.  
If I remember correctly, the papers quite clearly have her being the one that enrolled Bernadetta in the school. We've received contradictory orders on multiple accounts of Lord Varley asking for Bernadetta's return and Lady Varley telling us to keep her. For now, we've kept her enrolled fearing their might be some form of a problem. I'm disappointed to see we might have been right.

* * *

Byleth Eisner  
I see...  
I'll try speaking with Bernadetta. Rhea, can you handle the Varley's?  


* * *

Archbishop Rhea  
Of course.  
Worst comes to worst we can prove nothing and we're forced to take matter into our own hands.  


* * *

Byleth Eisner  
I'd prefer we handle things in a court of law...  
But if Bernadetta is in trouble I'm not above Sothis dealing with him instead.  
I'll get the proper papers in order. In the meantime, I'll keep an eye on the other chats. I should probably inform them that I've changed the permissions so they can pick their own nicknames. Sothis did the picking and it seems like a couple people are upset with what they've been given... Leonie might just jump for joy.  


* * *

Archbishop Rhea  
Okay. Good luck.  
We love you <3  


* * *

Byleth Eisner  
...  


* * *

  
#lions-of-the-monastery  
  


Sips Tea And Leaves  
I went ahead and changed the channel name to something more sensible.  
In addition, I've given everyone permission to change their own nicknames.  
Channel admins have the power to change other people's nicknames. Please only exercise this power if someone is being rude or offensive with their names. In addition to Sylvain (who I cannot remove as admin since it was the other administrator's choice, we've agreed we each get one choice), I've made Mercedes the other admin since I trust her the most. I would have chosen Dimitri if not for your... technological difficulties.

* * *

Tweedle Twunk  
Honestly? Valid. I trust Mercedes more than I trust me and Dimitri  


* * *

The Goddess’ Favorite Angel  
:D  
Now. Who's name should I change first...  
Oh! I know!  


* * *

Baby Cakes  
Even Mercie's nickname choices are mom like and pure.  


* * *

Master of Swords  
this is...  
acceptable.  


* * *

Baby Cakes  
Even Felix has a soft spot for Mercie.  


* * *

The Lion Prince  
Mercedes is the chat mom for a reason.  
She's too good.  
Not even Felix would willingly upset the class mom.  


* * *

Prince Charmless  
Oh come on, if you're going to take away my matching nickname with Felix can't we at least call Dimitri Simba? ...  
Did Mercie just roast me  


* * *

The Goddess’ Favorite Angel  
I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself.  
Is that better?  


* * *

Master of Spears  
I guess.  
I'm still salty because of how bland these names are.  


* * *

Precious Cinnamon Knight  
Why didn't you change mine?  


* * *

The Goddess’ Favorite Angel  
It's already perfect.  
Just like you, Ashe :D  


* * *

The Queen of Knights  
Awww. My nickname is so sweet. I'm touched Mercie  


* * *

Chef Dedue  
This is acceptable.  


* * *

Precious Cinnamon Knight  
Don't let him trick you.  
He's blushing.  


* * *

Baby Cakes  
That's adorable!  
Are the two of you together right now?  


* * *

Precious Cinnamon Knight  
Yeah!  
Dedue is teaching me a really popular Ducur dish. Hopefully it'll be for dinner tonight if it comes out alright.

* * *

Chef Dedue  
I'm sure we'll be able to serve it.  
It's coming out wonderfully so far.  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
I'm glad all of you are... normal. The Deer are having too much fun.  
Oh, before I leave. Remember there's a test on the Nemesis Wars next Tuesday.  


* * *

The Lion Prince  
...  
FUCK  


* * *

Master of Spears  
Don't tell me you forgot.  
Even I remembered for once. Seriously Dimi?  


* * *

The Queen of Knights  
No cussing in front of Annette and Ashe.  
Aside from that, I'm actually a little shocked. Usually it's the other way around. Sylvain remembered on his own, I didn't even have to remind him. You okay Dimi?

* * *

The Lion Prince  
No, no I'm not apparently...  


* * *

The Queen of Knights  
I'm hosting a study group with Sylvain and Felix.  
Sylvain is actually the master when it comes to this topic for some reason. So if anyone wants to come join us, you'll be in good hands.

* * *

Master of Spears  
You wouldn't guess it by looking at me, but I'm quite the fan of Crestology.  
The Nemesis Wars are vital to understanding the basic framework, so I've got this.  


* * *

The Lion Prince  
Thank you, Ingrid, Sylvain.  


* * *

  
  
  


  
#the-golden-memes  
  


Sips Tea And Leaves  
I've given everyone permission to change their own nicknames.  
As a side note, Channel admins have the power to change other people's nicknames. Please only exercise this power if someone is being rude or offensive with their names. In addition to Claude (who I cannot remove as admin since it was the other administrator's choice, we've agreed we each get one choice), I've made Lysithea the other admin since I trust her the most. My other choice would have been Hilda or Marianne, but Hilda would only help Claude terrorize everyone else and Marianne... lacks the assertive quality necessary of an admin.

* * *

Jeralt's Best Apprentice  
THANK YOU  


* * *

Schemes? >:3  
and that's somehow better?  


* * *

The Noblest Noble  
While I'm sure many will appreciate the option, some people will have their nicknames pried from their cold, dead hands. AKA, Claude and Hilda.  


* * *

Schemes! >:3  
you are entirely right!  
but did you need to come for me and my soul brother like that?  


* * *

The Mature Adult  
I'll do my best, professor, but I'm not sure how much order I can keep.  
As evident by the change my my nickname. Thank you Claude, you useless house leader.  


* * *

Schemes? >:3  
*of  
and hey!  
if you saw the private group chat dima, edel, and myself have, you'd be glad that i'm your house leader  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
The three of you have a private chat?  


* * *

Schemes? >:3  
yeah. thought itd be a good idea for fostering a positive relationship  
since we're gonna be leading fodlan, we might as well get along  
it was the worst mistake i've ever made. and you wanna know why?  
i'm the adult! 

* * *

True Art Is Happiness  
I have so many questions...  
I want none of them answered.  


* * *

Schemes? >:3  
you really dont  


* * *

Sips Tea And Leaves  
Very well. I'll leave it at that...  


* * *

  
  
  


  
Fodlan's Leaders United  
  


Prince Claude  
Yo Edel. You good?  


* * *

Princess Edelgard  
What ever do you mean? I'm fine.  


* * *

Prince Dimitri  
I think what Claude is trying to say is that you've been acting... out of it.  
You didn't eat during lunch, you were dazed during practice.  
You're acting weird. And not the good kind of weird. The something is wrong kind of weird.  


* * *

Princess Edelgard  
I'm fine Dimitri, I just didn't get enough sleep.  


* * *

Prince Dimitri  
El...  


* * *

Princess Edelgard  
...  
You remember how I was telling you about my most mortifying nickname on the school server? Well, I asked the professor to change it and she apologized for the other admin making assumptions. Especially ones that could have been wrong. I should have just left it at that. But I ended up panicking. I admitted that it wasn't wrong and told her about how I was worried the other classes might judge me. Which was a lie, I've met your classes. I was more worried about her judging me. She's not exactly from Fodlan. What if she grew up somewhere where being anything but straight is a bad thing? What if she's going to judge me now? What if she already hates me?  


* * *

Prince Dimitri  
I think you might be overreacting. The professor doesn't seem the type to judge.  


* * *

Prince Claude  
it's a valid fear. I know what it's like to be ostracised for something you can't control.  
It hurts, especially when it comes from someone you look up to. Or have a crush on.  
I would be worried too.  
Regarding your concerns, I wish I could put you at ease but i can't say for certain. I was talking to Sylvain and we both think she might have been hitting our gaydar, but it's hard to tell. She's good at wearing a mask and keeping a passive disposition. She hasn't revealed anything good, but she also hasn't commented anything bad either. For now, we'll just have to keep an eye on her and see if she gives herself away. I already asked Hilda to start trying to parse her out the moment you called dibs.

* * *

Princess Edelgard  
Dorothea has been attempting the same, but nothing conclusive so far.  
Thank you. Both of you.  


* * *

Prince Dimitri  
Of course! We're here for you.  


* * *

  
  
  


  
Goddesses United  
  


Sothis  
So...  


* * *

Byleth  
So.  


* * *

Sothis  
I'm sorry.  


* * *

Byleth  
Sorry to who?  


* * *

Sothis  
You.  
Edelgard.  
Mostly Edegard.  
But.  
We know know she's on the table now. So when are you going to ask her out?  


* * *

Byleth  
So help me, Sothis.  


* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I personally love chatfics. They can be real mindless fun. But sometimes plot is also cool.
> 
> I've also been trying to give some of the characters distinctive speech styles which will hopefully evolve as I get more used to things. Some characters might change their nicknames, some will get them changed for them, and other (Linhardt) are too lazy to chance whatever gets assigned to them. Lin is also way too much of a sleepy bitch to use anything except for text speech. 
> 
> Depending on how the story evolves, it might not stay entire chat based. I definitely have a couple ideas where things will slip into prose. 
> 
> Part of this is because while this is my 'for fun' story, I don't want it to seem lazy (a big complaint I hear when people talk about chatfics). Hence why this chapter was mostly dedicated to name. I want everyone to still seem in character. At least the Deers being living memes is almost in character.


End file.
